My Facebook page doesn’t get much action these days. After all, I’m not pregnant nor engaged so my contributions and their “likes” are pretty minimal. However, yesterday my phone kept buzzing alerting me to Facebook notifications after I posted a Thought Catalog article entitled, “The 14 Worst Things That People In Relationships Do.” The list incited responses from single and coupled people alike, probably because it was incredibly hilarious, but also spot-on.
Let’s just address the elephant in the room: sometimes, couples do really silly and inane shit. They just do. And, now, thanks to all of our lives being a public petri dish because of social media, we’re all privy to the silly and inane shit couples do. There are only so many photos of you guys in matching outfits and status updates about you being “so in love” that I can stomach before I succumb to the urge to punch you both in the face.
Nonetheless, I started thinking about where the line exists between couples being annoying and single people just being bitter and cynical. Because, not all couples are annoying. (Pause as I wait for every person in a relationship reading this to nod their head and say “Yeah, I’m not annoying!)
But, really, not every person in a relationship is bothersome. Not every person in a relationship assassinates Instagram feeds with pics of them and their boo. Some people get it. They understand that once you grow up, the allure of a relationship is not posting a Twitpic. Instead, the beauty lies in keeping such an important and intimate aspect of your life mostly private.
And, to my fellow single kinfolk, let’s address the other elephant in the room: yes, sometimes we are bitter and cynical. We just are. We can’t help it. We don’t know how to look at anything endearing other than with a side eye. But, the same way overly obnoxious couples should probably check themselves, we should do the same when it comes to our brittle exteriors. To quote from a very wise friend of mine, “I assure you there is nothing safe about a guarded heart.”
Last week, in a futile effort to download iOS7 on my old ass iPhone 4 that barely has any memory left, I deleted a plethora of photos. As I scanned through the pictures, I reached a few here and there of me and former boo things. I had forgotten about the pictures despite those people being forever etched in my memories. There was a photo of me and Summer Dude, one that one of my friends captured unbeknownst to me at a BBQ. We were away from the crowd, off in our own world and wrapped in an embrace. I still hate to admit it, but it was cute. Maybe. A little. Kind of.
“Yeah, you used to be such a cupcake with Summer Dude,” my sister said the other night. (Cupcake: noun: woman who acts completely bewitched, absurd and giddy around a guy.) In my book, there is no higher insult than calling me a cupcake. Well, that’s a lie. Insulting my intelligence or calling me childish are higher offenses, but cupcake is right after those.
However, her statement was pretty accurate. Because, I, like every human being, have the ability to fall hard and fast, a maddening sense of captivation with a particular person. Really, that is the only way I fall. Hard. Fast. 100%. All of my cards on the table and all of my heart in the partnership. Because, life is too short to give anything less than everything you are and everything you have. Love included. Maybe some couples are only obnoxious because they have finally let their walls crumble and they want the world to know. Maybe some single people are just cynical because they know the wound of love lost is a gaping hole that they will spend years bandaging. Either way, we’re all just people. We’re not completely annoying or completely cynical. We’re in love. We’re out of love. We just want love.