So, something has come to my attention. Often times, east coast people (myself included) will rave about how one day they’ll end up in Cali. After a few intoxicated nights in Los Angeles for my birthday last year, I endlessly talked about how one day, I’d settle over in the west coast…that is, until I realized 3,000 miles is far too far from my family. In the end, some people think moving to some brand new place solves all of their problems. But, the truth is, moving can and will create problems you never expected. I thought I had my shit together before I left but no amount of inspirational books or quotes or pep talks (all things I swore by before I left) could have prepared me for the past 2 roller coaster months.
But, instead of blabbing, I enlisted the help of a friend who did take that plunge…all the way to Cali. Here are her thoughts. (Note: I second everything she said. Note: I really second everything I bolded.)
hm, let’s see. WELL i do agree with you that people don’t realize how difficult it is to move so far away. especially for me, like i was born and raised in MD, didn’t leave the state for college so MD has been my home and my bubble and my comfort zone. besides studying abroad, this is the first time i’ve ever moved and lived on my own. and this type of moving and starting a new life is different from studying abroad or going out of state for college. because you are literally on your own. no school, no dorm, no extracurriculars, no advisors telling you how to manage your life, nada. it didn’t really hit me until after my mom left. i was like okay now what. i’m lucky that i at least have some relatives out here. but it’s not the same as having my group of friends, my favorite hang out spots, familiar places and faces, etc. of course, this is life. people move and things change. and i do think change is necessary for growth and personal development. like you get a real sense of who you are when you’re on your own, trying to be independent. only the strong survive!
i’ve met people but it’s not the same as a bff who you can call/text every day or someone you can see on a regular basis. the funny thing is that i always thought of myself as kind of anti-social. like i don’t really like living with roommates and i like hanging out with people but not every day and really only on my own terms lol. but i’ve realized i think it’s because i was always surrounded by people so i could always pick and choose when i’d want to see them. and now i don’t have that. i’m sure you’ve felt that feeling before when you just realize you are utterly alone. and then it’s like what the FUCK am i doing here?! lol. i think it’s especially difficult for us because we just graduated from college and we’ve been sheltered for most of our lives and surrounded by people who love us. like, i think obviously in a couple years if i move to a different state/country then it would be an easier transition. but now it kind of feels like i’ve just been thrown into the middle of a busy street and i have to keep going and going and try to build up a life for myself here. and like i literally had NOTHING here. i had to find an apartment, then a car, then furniture (still need a couch..), then set up bank accounts, etc etc. movies make it seem soooo easy.
don’t get me wrong, i don’t regret moving here at all. i think it was a good step for me and what better way to learn how to grow up and be adult than actually doing it? no offense to people still at home, but i feel like if you don’t ever try to step outside of your comfort zone then you can’t really grow and become independent. a lot of people i know are too scared to move because it’s change and it’s different. but at some point you gotta take the plunge. (but at the same time you want to make sure it’s the right decision and that you’re not just going into in blindly).
so yeah, moving so far away definitely has its cons but at the same time, life is what you make of it (so cliche) but it’s true. i’m just trying to stay positive because i’ve only been out here for a month ish and anything could happen. i have made some friends and i’m starting to open up more to my coworkers. i’m even participating in my work’s fantasy football league (LOL WHAT IS FOOTBALL) since i thought it would be a good way to socialize with them outside of the work environment. i’m really proud of both of us for moving so far away! people think it’s easy peasy but it’s not at all. and i’m so glad that you understand how i feel. also everyone is like omg you’re in cali, sooo jealous. and i’m like yeahhh it’s greattttt lol but it’s like not all fun and games 24/7. especially since i’m here to work and make money and make a future for myself. it’s just seriously sooo much different from college. and you really don’t know what you have til it’s gone, like you said. i wish i had more time to hang out with my friends and family before i moved here. but i guess you can never be 100% ready to start a new chapter in your life.
tY (and the Californian)