By: T.S Fitzgerald
All of us are not equipped with the ability to express our emotions at the appropriate times. Hell, many of us sometimes do not even know where to begin. Choosing when and how to express, defend or speak up for yourself can be a daunting task. Some incidents are time-sensitive, and others require much thought. Some can be highly-emotional, and others require well-thought out logic. However, when you have sat with an emotion for an inordinate amount of time, there eventually comes a breaking point.
Many hold in personal feelings for months, even years, yet have the ability to speak up for everything and everyone. However, pent-up emotions will release themselves at the most inopportune times if you are not careful. Hence the importance of expression and release. This may come immediately or take time; however, choosing when and how is dependent on what is best for you. Choosing to express your emotions has nothing to do with the other person but everything to do with you.
We tend to plague ourselves with questions that pertain to the other person such as: “Will they answer?” or “Will I make any sense?” or the big “Should I say anything at all?” Or, we revel in the idea of the many things that can go awry: bad timing, ill-placed words, too much detail, not enough detail, etc. But, there is no handbook on how and when to “say it witcho chest;” there is no rule of thumb. Expressing yourself is a needed release for YOU, allowing YOU to take a load off of YOUR heart and mind. It may come in an angry “Dear John” letter months after an incident or a quick expletive-laden phone call the next day. The choice is yours, but your choice is a reflection of you.
In expressing yourself to others, you must be mindful that person has the right to express themselves for them. Every person will not receive your expression the way you would like. You may want an apology or an explanation, but that person may not have that in mind. They may even ignore you and never respond. But it is okay! These situations may be disheartening; however, you can still learn from them even in silence. You may learn your style and approach were not the most well-received, and you can work on that. Or, even better that person just ain’t shit, and you can promptly move on with your life.
Do not let your emotions get the best of you before deciding to do something about it. Release is necessary. The weight on your heart and mind is not healthy. Putting those emotions into the atmosphere may help you rid them forever, but you will never know until you do.
T.S. is a 23-year-old Jackee of all trades; seriously, she has a host of trades. She enjoys catching up on scripted television and shopping for ugly sweaters. Check out her personal blog at www.citizen-ts.com and follow her on twitter at @puregr8nesss and the gram at @iamcitizents.