By: Noëlle Cuvilly
Hey, it’s Noëlle. We’ve known each other for almost five years, but I think its time we had a little chat. I mean, unless God has other plans for me, we’ll be spending another five years together, so why not get a dialogue going between us? Its okay if you don’t have much to say right now. Just hear me out.
At 18, all I wanted was to meet you. I’d heard so many great things about you. How you came with freedom and independence. How you are supposed to be a total blast. You were that ideal of being a grown-up but still teetering the line of adolescence. The whole concept of “Old enough to know better; too young to give a fuck” had me sold on you immediately.
When we first met on March 3, 2010, I was a sophomore in college. I was invited to a gala, got dressed in a gorgeous black and white gown, had my face beat to perfection and drank amaretto sours with my girlfriends. It was a good time. I felt great about finally meeting you. But I guess you could say that our first year was a bit boring. It’s fine though because I was still feeling you out. You made up for it the next year.
At 21 you introduced me to love. My 21st summer was humid, hot and hazy. I met a man who made my emotions seem similar to a day at Six Flags where the lines are long and move at a snail’s pace, but once you’re strapped in, those short 60 seconds of flying through the air at high speeds made the wait well worth it. But in that same year, you showed me that love leaves. That the park doesn’t stay open all year-round. Pretty soon I was on a ride that I wanted off of but never seemed to be over. It was a ride that lasted well into our third and some of our fourth year together.
And now here we are. I guess we’re starting the part of our relationship that teaches me that you’re not all about fun and games. I am old enough to know better and SHOULD care enough to do better. You’re teaching me that you won’t be here forever so I’ve got to make this count. I have to start preparing for life after you. Working, managing money and time responsibly, balancing relationships, learning about myself, treating myself and others better and learning how to balance being selfish and selfless all at the same time. It gets a little scary. But you’re doing it for my own good I suppose.
I hope that along with these lessons, the rest of the time we spend together will be filled with fun. Can we try that love thing again? Can we travel more? Can we meet lots more new, exciting and interesting people as well as reconnect with old, awesome friends that I’ve lost touch with since you and I met? Let’s be more responsible but every once in awhile let’s just say, “Fuck it!” and do something crazy! LETS GET A TATTOO! Let’s try to get along better with my mother. Let’s laugh and cry. Let’s be honest with me a bit more. Let’s work on me loving myself more. Let’s pray more. Lets eat better but still enjoy the cheesy goodness that is pizza. Lets write more. Lets find new hobbies that I may enjoy. Let’s make my time with you the best time of my life like my twenties are supposed to be. We have so much to do, Twenties. Let’s get started.
Noëlle Cuvilly is a 23 year old creative writer from Queens, New York. With her B.A in English from Morgan State University, the self-proclaimed “cultured hoodrat” is working towards being a published author in the near future. Follow her on Twitter @_sugatits