Hey, Ladies, Don’t Wear A Weave If You Ever Want To Be A Wife (According To One Fool On The Internet)

Here's the list. Evidence of an ignoramus among us.
Here’s the list. Evidence of an ignoramus among us.

Today Twitter went nuts. But, what else is new?

Somewhere around mid-morning, I saw people responding to a list a man tweeted that included his requisites for a potential wife. Refer to Exhibit A on your left.

Of course many things on this list are problematic, but I do not have time to write a dissertation nor decipher what the hell a hoe fax report is. So, for all intents and purposes, I’ve opted to focus on the first item on the list: NO weave.

When I scanned the favorable and unfavorable responses to the list pouring in, I noticed some women writing in saying, “I don’t wear a weave.” Um, ok? Do we owe you a gold badge? I missed that memo. Let the record show I have worn a weave probably a handful of times in my life and have not donned one in well over a decade. But, I don’t see what this has to do with my potential wife status or anyone else’s for that matter.

I always swore to myself I wouldn’t engage in the weave/perm/natural conversation beyond a few scant tweets, but sometimes idiots propel you to do crazy things. When my response to the list above today was, “If weave is a dealbreaker for you, you need to re-evaluate. Just re-evaluate,” a friend of mine made a valid point. What if this man simply prefers his woman sans weave? Fair. However, I think there is a solid and obvious line between preference and a dealbreaker. Here, it seems like someone’s 26-inch sew-in is a definite dealbreaker. After all, it did make its way to the very top of the list. Caps and everything.

Women wear weaves for a host of different reasons, none of which really matter to me. If you are concerned with someone else’s hair follicles, your world is small and you should consider expanding it.

Today, I recruited my Twenties Unscripted Male Think Tank, a group of six upstanding men whose advice I typically rely on in my own personal life. They’ve become my go-to “male” perspective for this blog to help balance out my vehement feminist views. When I mentioned the weave debate to them today in my introductory email, a few of them commented how ridiculous the guy was. This affirmed I was not alone in my opinion. Thanks, Think Tank.

As I said, many things in this list are problematic. The fact that this list even exists is problematic. And, the fact that women responded favorably to this is…well, problematic. This list is another speck of confetti on the chauvinistic party floor telling anyone it’s OK to prescribe requirements to women in order to make them fit for a relationship. So, you already know I think this is foolish beyond foolish.

I would write more, but I have to go figure out how clean my hoe fax report is.




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