Start with her eyes. Look long enough so that they begin to tell you stories. Stare even when she starts to shift in her seat and laugh her nervous laugh. You have now seen something. The narrative will begin to unfold, a tale of her tangled roots and a tumultuous past. Her eyes will tell you the story of every lover who made her heart burst only to later break it. Her eyes will tell you the same secrets that never parted her lips. Her eyes will tell you that someone stained her with the ink of his own sins. Her eyes will tell you her story. You must know her story.
Drop to her feet. Observe them. Take a look at her bloody soles that have trekked through life’s most thorny paths. Let her feet evidence that there were many times when she had no choice but to be a warrior. Some times her only choice was to keep treading that path.
Lie down with her and let your fingertips trail down her spine. Her spine will whisper to you that no matter the load, she never let anything break her back. She did not crush. She did not crack. She is still whole. She is not damaged goods. No, she is rare gold.
Listen to her laugh. Listen to the way her laugh fills the room suddenly and sans inhibition. Watch her cock her head back and mark that image in your memory for safe keeping. This is when she is at her best and it will be easy to love her when she is at her best.
Listen to her cry. Watch when that cry swallows her entire body and renders her helpless. Watch her buckle over with pain and a mosaic of other emotions that sting. Embrace her and hold on for dear life. This is when she is at her lowest and it will be difficult to love her when she is at her lowest. Because loving her is not rescuing her. And loving her is not solving her problems with the snap of a finger. No, loving her is standing tall by her side and getting drenched in the downpour.
Make a conscious choice not to simply see her, but to also hear her. Always choose to hear her more than you see her. And when her mind begins to unveil its magic and madness, that is when you will fall in love. Because the magic and madness will captivate you. Intrigue you. Inspire you. Excite you. Challenge you. Resurrect you from the dead of hollow connections. The magic and madness will bring you to your knees.
Love her slowly and gently. That is how you must love a layered and complex woman–not like a summer thunderstorm, but rather like a spring rain. Love her even when she kicks and screams that she does not need your love and she does not want your love and she could get through this life without your love. Because when she does not want your love and when she does not need your love, that is when her insides are begging for your love the most.
Love her like Anita Baker’s Sweet Love. Like Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together. Love her like anything Marvin Gaye. Do not love her like something in the Top 40 that could be here today and gone tomorrow. No, love her like a classic. Love her so it’s timeless. Love her so that your love reverberates years after the radio stops spinning that kind of love.
Love her for every imperfection. Every flaw. Every ill habit. Every bad way. Love her because of the good and in spite of the scars.
Love her fully, steadfastly and wildly. Let your love for her blot the broken memories and build the beams for her bridge over troubled water. Sling your entire body, soul and mind into loving her. Love her so hard that her eyes begin to tell a different story.