This post is an excerpt from Twenties Unscripted: A Journey of Womanhood, Writing, and Relativity. The full essay is available in the book, which is currently available for pre-sale here.
Find some sort of mechanism to channel all of your angst and resentment and nastiness in a healthy way. Because you will have a lot of angst and resentment and nastiness inside of you. Some people call that being negative; I call it being human. But, some people let the ugly bits of themselves spill out in ugly ways and that is what makes for an ugly life. So, you have to find something that anchors you more steadily than the promise of happy hour. You will need something that you can indulge in when the music stops, the lights go on and all you are left with is your mess of a self. You’ll need something you can enjoy independent of any other person, something you can rely on no matter who is or is not in the room.
Date. Or don’t date. Just do more than suck up the air dying to be loved. The time in between now and when you settle down is not a freeze frame.
Pay the least attention to what he texts, less to what he says and most to what he does.