Part 2: The Male Think Tank Tackles Cheating

April 17, 2015

Click here for Part 1 of this post.

Do you believe a relationship can recover after someone has cheated?

Guy 1: Nnnnnnneeeeeeeeooooooopppppppeeeeeeeeee. Every time I see you it’ll just remind me of it.

Guy 2: I do not believe a relationship can be recovered after someone has cheated. That’s a scar that cuts so deep that it’s unrecoverable. There’s so much distrust and resentment that will always be at the core of the relationship. Remember, and I’ll be emphasizing this point a lot here, the weakness shown by the act should be a huge red flag for the other partner. I think a lot of times, victims may think that it’s easy to recover, but that may be a fear of being alone again. Some people feel its more convenient to save something familiar than to start fresh again.

Guy 3: From personal experience, no. Recovering from a lack of trust is nearly impossible. You can mask the damage and even recover to a degree in which you’re (barely) comfortable, but the reality is that your trust will never be as strong as it once was and as I’ve said before, trust is everything.

Guy 4: Yes, I believe so, but it weighs so much on the events leading up to it. Cheating basically, eliminates the most important aspect of a relationship which is trust. In the case of cheating, either party would have to decide whether it would be worth it go through the tedious task of rebuilding that trust.If it is a both parties are dedicated to it, than why not.

Guy 5: Yes, but this is clearly very dependent on the circumstances. Who did the person cheat with? Why did they cheat? Is it a pattern? A lot of questions need to be answered before that process can begin.

Guy 6: I do believe that it can, no doubt. Will take a lot of work, and effort. As well as trust. Forgiveness and patience is key. One party has to acknowledge the hurt done, and the other has to acknowledge that they can’t hold the cliud over their partners head forever. Can’t make them pay the same mistakes ( if they’ve changed).

Guy 8: Yes. Cheating is wrong and will hurt the other person in the relationship. However, everyone can make a mistake. As long as the person is sincerely sorry about what they did and they work to make up for it the relationship can recover. It also requires the other person to learn how to forgive and move forward with their partner, which can be equally as difficult, but certainly possible.

Guy 9: Relationships can recover from cheating. I’m not an advocate of it simply because that trust I had for you is now gone. But for those that do recover, it’s mainly because they actually forgave the other person. You actually have to forgive and move on. Most of us “forgive” but still live within that hurt, so any small thing that occurs in the future triggers those past emotions. Then we constantly remind the person of their past ways even when their current actions may have nothing to do with the past ones.


 

Is a woman who has previously cheated on her significant other a deal breaker for you in a potential relationship? Is a woman who has been the “other woman” a deal breaker? Why or why not?

Guy 1: No, it’s not a deal breaker but it’s definitely a red flag and something to monitor. Everything needs context so I can’t write someone off just because they cheated. I’d have to hear the story behind it first. If the story sounds dumb as fuck, then it just might be a deal breaker. A woman who has been “the other woman” needs context also. Maybe her self-esteem was low, or she just didn’t care about being a homewrecking asshole. The homewrecking asshole may be a deal breaker too.

Guy 2: Yes, a woman who has cheated and/or has been the “other woman” is a deal breaker for me. This tells me that she cannot communicate effectively in a relationship, and turns to the easy route if things ever go south. I’d prefer to not have to worry about something like that in a new relationship.

Guy 3: No all around for me. I’ve been the other guy but I’ve never cheated on somebody that I was in a relationship with. I personally can separate the two. I know I wasn’t shit for being the other guy, but also having been there, I know the damage one can cause and I know now that I wouldn’t want to be judged by the errors I made as a younger person. Now, if this woman had just cheated and gotten out of a relationship for that reason, I might consider whether or not she would be trustworthy. I still wouldn’t call it a deal breaker because I have a penis and if you are beautiful to me, you may get the benefit of the doubt or be worth the risk.

Guy 4: In referencing a previous answer, It may not be a deal breaker if I figure out why it happened. But she would lose some stock though for sure. The same could be said about the “other woman” as well.

Guy 5: I think the idea of “if he/she did it to get with you, they’ll do it again with someone else” is a bit overblown. It completely ignores our potential for mistakes and growth. However, if there is a clear pattern of behavior, you are clearly taking a risk believing you’re the one to make this person change their ways. So, to answer the question, no, its not a deal breaker. It is, however, something to take note of.

Guy 6: It’s not my ideal woman to pursue, however, I realize people can change. But it depends on how remorseful and accountable she is. The other woman isn’t so much of a problem, unless she settles for being that. IF she’s unaware I can’t really have too much to say.

Guy 8: This isn’t a concrete deal breaker because I try not to judge people on their past. However, if I were sleeping with a woman while she was in a relationship, I probably would be hesitant to get into a serious relationship with her, even if she broke it off with the other guy. That’s only because I was directly involved with her cheating and I’d have trouble trusting that she wouldn’t do the same thing to me.

Guy 9: I do think cheating when you’re young is one thing. Cheating in a little High School romance I’d hardly count. However, at this age if a woman tells me she previously cheated on someone before dating me, we won’t work. That thought will always be in the back of my mind.  Sometimes women become the “other women” because they simply don’t know the truth. I can’t fault anybody for their actions if they aren’t aware of everything. Now if she is the “other woman” because she willingly chooses to be then that is something I would question. Breaking up homes on purpose isn’t a badge of honor.


 

Do you believe all men cheat?

Guy 1: I don’t believe all men cheat; that’s a myth that some hurt mofo’s made in their circle of misery.

Guy 2: No, I don’t believe all men cheat. There are definitely mature and loyal ones out there who are great partners. Finding them is another story.

Guy 3: No, I do not.

Guy 4: Do all men cheat? Of course not. I feel like it would be preposterous to the that an entire species would be incapable of honoring the trust and loyalty of their partner. We may all think about it or consider though. Life.

Guy 5: Nope. Only lonely people who consistently make bad decisions truly believe this.

Guy 6: No.

Guy 8: No, absolutely not.

Guy 9: Contrary to popular belief, I don’t believe all men cheat. There are a lot of men that are never presented with the opportunity or even possess the ability to finesse another woman other than the one he has. However, I do believe that all men are tempted to cheat. Whatever resolve that man needs to find in order to conquer that demon speaks of his character. For those that do give into temptation, just hope your decision was worth it, playa.

Xoxo,
Tyece & The Male Think Tank

2 thoughts on “Part 2: The Male Think Tank Tackles Cheating

  1. Tamara Holder

    Whew….this one is a hot topic!!! So I guess I’ll be vulnerable. I am a girl who has restarted a relationship after my partner cheated. Scary ish right? I did it with some huge accountability and now my relationship is stronger than ever. Thankfully, I’m not the only one. I have a good acquaintance who has been through this and is now with the same person in a happy marriage and I have a model friend who was actually the partner who cheated and she recently got married to her boo as well. It can be done! And sadly, people will think you’re dumb for it. Nevertheless, it’s possible and not a journey for the faint of heart.

    Reply
  2. Ashley Coleman

    It’s interesting that men would say that a relationship can’t recover because most often we hear that men are a lot less forgiving about cheating than women. So the responses pretty much validate that thought. However, I have certainly seen not only relationships, but marriages thrive after a spouse has cheated so I know it’s possible. Clearly not ideal, but possible. And I think we all can be faced with the temptation to cheat, whether male or female, but pretty much, it comes down to weighing your options. Is a night or two of fun, worth everything I have built with this other person? And many simply decide not to take that chance. While others like to test their luck. Separates the gamblers from the non-gamblers, I guess. Great topic to tackle with the Male Think Tank.

    Reply

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