Entitlement Will Ruin You.

Every so often I decide to update the bio page on my blog. Last night after spending way too much playing around with Bitstrips, I decided it was time to update the bio. I typed, “Tyece is the author behind Twenties Unscripted. She started the blog in 2012 in an effort to tell her own twenty-something story after growing tired of reading too many misrepresentations of her generation. She saw twenty-somethings being lumped in to the category of either entitled pricks or hopeless peons and she wanted to show that yes, they are. But, they are also much more.”

Listen, some twenty-somethings are entitled pricks. I have to battle myself daily not to be one. In some ways, can you blame us? We’ve spent a good portion of our lives being patted on the back, dropped on pedestals and hearing just how amazing we are. We’ve been rolling around in a shitty pile of praise. In sixth grade, I received an award for having a “B+” average in reading. Really? An award for a B plus? It doesn’t make a lick of sense. But, because many of us experienced similar rewards for only a mediocre result, for awhile, we believed we were the best thing since sliced bread. We graduated from college and waved around those degrees thinking that our pretty little faces and an internship or two should help us secure the job of our dreams.

And, then reality sucker punched us so hard that we’re still seeing stars.

Post-grad reality comes in many different forms. The boss who hates you. The job you don’t get. The job you get laid off from. The mountain of bills you struggle to pay. The hierarchy and politics of any workplace. The stark adjustment in your lifestyle, unable to afford regular happy hours or exciting trips. If you are smart enough, you quickly learn how to readjust your sails, shed any sense of entitlement and work your ass off. If you aren’t smart enough and you still feel like anyone owes you anything, your life is probably still sucking and will continue to do so for awhile.

According to dictionary.com, entitle means “to give (a person or thing) a title, right, or claim to something…” In other words, there are few things in this life to which we are entitled. Life. Liberty. The pursuit of happiness. You know, the Thomas Jefferson shit. Beyond that, start working.

Believing you are entitled to things is a grave mistake that will ruin every aspect of your life. An unmerited sense of entitlement is the kind of poison that eats away at your existence slowly. It will strip away opportunities.  It will make everything you do unpleasant because instead of being grateful, you will be miserable. Instead of knowing the fulfillment that accompanies a reward after hard work, you will only know the envy that accompanies an unsatisfied sense of wanting.

And, entitlement will wreak havoc on your relationships. We so often make the mistake of believing after we have achieved a certain level of history with a person, we somehow have the right to be mean and nasty. We have the right not to think before we speak. We mistakenly believe we have the right to act out in the most asinine of ways because “they will love us anyway.” And, there is nothing further from the truth. Everyone in this life always has the option to walk away.

Check your entitlement at the door. Otherwise, prepare to be ruined.

Xoxo,

Tyece

 

Stop Waiting For Good Things To Fall Into Your Lap And Start Busting Your Ass.

Step into my lair and I will reveal to you one of my inner-most fantasies.

Not that kind of fantasy, pervert. Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s more of a professional fantasy, if you will.

I’ve always had this dream that someone big and bad in the blogosphere will magically stumble upon Twenties Unscripted and then give me some cool opportunity because of it. “Hey, want to write for this magazine?” or “Love your blog; let’s discuss a book deal.” It’s every writer’s wet dream and do not let them tell you any different.

However, somewhere along the line, I woke up from that delusion and realized most amazing opportunities, in the blogosphere and otherwise, are carved by your own hands and hard work. Because my birthday is coming up this week and I’ve been way too reflective, I realize I’ve had some dope writing and poetry opportunities this year. These gemstone experiences have defined the bulk of the past year, but I realize none of them were fortuitous happenings. Each one of them was the result of me busting my ass, badgering people to death via email, or an obnoxious combination of the two.

Listen. Everyone has a blog. Blind monkeys have them. Babies probably have them. Saying you have a blog is like saying you have a liver. Who cares? I’ve been met with more than a few eye rolls when I say, “Oh, yeah, I have a blog” because there isn’t any appropriate way to say, “I have a blog that I pour an incredible amount of my life and energy into day after day.” Then you just sound like a self-important idiot and I try to confine my narcissism to once a week at most.

Nonetheless, I’m aware that I’m far from special just by virtue of having a blog. I know that if I ever want my blog to be more than a blip on the Internet radar, I have to work at it tirelessly. Even when I don’t feel like it or even when I have no clue what I will write that night or even if I feel like I’m saying the same thing I said a week or a month ago. And I encounter all of those thoughts every week. What, did you just think I’m bursting at the seams with inspiration on the daily? No, buddy. But, I have to do it. I have to write. Because, nothing in life replaces a work ethic. Nada. Zip. Zero. Unless you’re a Kardashian.

I suffer from Insatiable Syndrome. So, even when good things happen or I’m rewarded for hard work, I have a problem celebrating for any lengthy amount of time before my mind has sped off to the next Great Wall to conquer. My brain only knows how to operate on overdrive which is a very exhausting way to live. Yes, it has paid off in dividends, but it certainly does cause its own set of misgivings. However, it’s the only way I know.

I just think we all have to abandon that same fantasy I mentioned earlier of some amazing opportunity falling into our laps. Sure, it may happen once or twice in a lifetime. But, the remaining abundance of really cool shit that you’ll be fortunate enough to experience will be the result of you busting your ass. The only exception is love. That is usually best when you let it fall into your lap. Everything else you want? Quit whining and go get it.

Most people don’t get cool shit in life because they’re lazy and are willing to stop at good enough. (Yes, this is the hyperachiever in me coming out so please excuse my assholery.) Good enough will pay your bills. Good enough will keep a roof over your head. Good enough will make you a semi-decent human being. But good enough will rarely make you happy.

Xoxo,

Tyece