The Twenties Unscripted Male Think Tank is a select group of men (aka my friends) who anonymously provide their thoughts on select topics once a month on the blog. Their first post for this year focuses on a day everyone loves to discuss and dissect–Valentine’s Day.
Each guy has a designated number to identify them in posts. The group has expanded since it started, so our Valentine’s Day post is split into two parts–Guys 1-5 for Part 1 and Guys 6-10 for Part 2. (Guy 8 bowed out of this post and Guy 10 responded to just a few of the questions). Enjoy.
Do you believe in making plans with a significant other for Valentine’s Day? Why/why not?
Guy 6: Yes I definitely believe in making plans, just a special day, I would show it through out the year, but lets do tradition and make it more special.
Guy 7: I think you should always do something with your significant other on Valentine’s Day. The scope of those plans can range widely from home-cooked meal to 5-star dining to heart-shaped hot tub. The key thing is that you should spend it together doing something you enjoy.
Guy 9 (new addition!): Making plans for Valentine’s Day is cool. Planning things together with a significant other is always a learning experience for both parties involved. Of course, you can always throw your own surprise in there to really show her you care.
How long do you think is an appropriate time to date someone before considering them for a Valentine’s Day gift or date?
Guy 6: That’s subjective, however, for me I can do it within the first month or etc. if the vibe is right. Chemistry knows no time.
Guy 7: I don’t think you have to wait very long to ask someone on a Valentine’s Day date. If you like the person, go for it! If you don’t know them all too well, perhaps hold off on a gift. But, from what I’ve learned, you can never go wrong with flowers.
Guy 9: Personally, if you want to give someone a gift for Valentine’s Day or take them on a date, I say go for it. We live under this facade that time determines when we should do certain things. However, time doesn’t guarantee that things will work or not. Life is short and we’re grown. Grow a pair.
Have you ever disappointed a woman on Valentine’s Day?
Guy 6: Yea, I have. I bought her roses, she was allergic. She wasn’t my girl though.
Guy 7: Probably, definitely.
Guy 9: I can’t say I’ve ever disappointed a woman on Valentine’s Day (at least that I know of). But, I’ve done the bare minimum before so I wouldn’t have to face the backlash. You know, the standard: roses, chocolates, and dinner. The cliché shit.
How do you think the majority of women view Valentine’s Day?
Guy 6: Most that I’ve experienced believe it’s only for women, and since you’re the man, you should just be happy to be in their presence. I know, I’m jaded. 🙁
Guy 7: I feel that the majority of women view Valentine’s Day as a concentrated day of romancing. They want a day straight from the scene of a rom-com. And you know what? I don’t blame them. Who wouldn’t!? Life gets busy and too frequently we get absorbed into things outside of our love lives. Having an annual day can potentially make up for some of this neglect. It’s a reminder to stop and think about how lucky you are to be with someone you care about.
Guy 9: It seems like the majority of women look forward to Valentine’s Day if they have someone special in their lives. Even if they don’t necessarily care for the Hallmark holiday. It’s a reason to dress up, be sexy, and spend some quality time with your significant other. (You gonna cater to me today, lol)
Guy 10 (new addition!) On Valentine’s Day I think women believe it is acceptable to become critics of what is or is not done on the holiday versus any other day. I seriously believe that women view this holiday to gauge how a relationship is. Honestly, the relationship does not necessarily have to be theirs but it can be a friend’s relationship as well. As women try to gauge and determine where a relationship maybe be headed they are actually judging and assuming with a heavy weight on what is done on February 14.
I recently had a debate with some friends about wearing lingerie on Valentine’s Day. Necessary or not?
Guy 6: If she does, that’s cool, but lingerie doesn’t really do it for me. A nice maxi dress around the house, or a cowl neck sweater dress will do though. Honestly I’m not picky.
Guy 7: Wearing lingerie on Valentine’s Day is by no means necessary. But I’m not going to stop her if she wants to.
Guy 9: Lingerie is nice, I think as men we aesthetically appreciate it. But overall, we don’t give a damn. Whether you wear lingerie or the same panties we’ve seen countless times…some of us will be taking them off regardless, others may not get the opportunity.
Your overall sentiments about Valentine’s Day?
Guy 6: I think it’s cool, enjoyable for those who truly partake in it, but don’t let it be the only day you use to show your significant other how much you appreciate him/her.
Guy 7: If we’re being honest, I think it’s a little lop-sided. I like making my significant other feel special, but I don’t believe that should be contained to just one day. As guys, we don’t tend to put as much emphasis on Valentine’s Day itself. Sometimes we just don’t get excited about heart shapes, chocolate and a baby with wings. However, don’t let that fool you. It’s no indicator of how much we emphasize the importance of our significant other.
Guy 9: Valentine’s Day is just another day in my eyes. If you don’t treat your significant other like a queen 365 days of the year, then you are one of those guys that stresses over what you feel obligated to do on this day. You’ve missed your mark all year long. The day should just be a reminder to her why you are that guy, nothing more and nothing less. You win the race by consistently doing the little things and showing her that she is the creme de la creme. Grand gestures are great but they don’t make the woman fall in love with you. It’s the little things, my friends.
P.S. – Stop being so damn cheap.
Guy 10: Personally I believe Valentine’s Day to be somewhat of a forced holiday especially on men. Women love the holiday, while most men are subjected to indulge in it. The holiday changes much before a potential relationship and during a relationship. When you are trying to safely grow closer with a woman and this holiday is near, the pressure is on internally and externally. As a man if you do something on the holiday and you aren’t in a relationship, the anxiety has been raised whether the man likes it or not. The dynamic of the relationship has changed. When you are in a relationship anything done on this particular day is magnified to the woman and to her friends even if the man doesn’t believe it to be such an extensive act.
Tyece & The second half of the Male Think Tank