It’s really no secret: I’ve been working on a book. And, until about 10 a.m. this morning, it was my full intent to finish and publish that book in 2014. This was a goal that came to me earlier this year as I deemed it an important milestone to finish my first book before turning 25.
But, I spent the better half of this weekend in a tailspin, thinking about my ambitions for next year and feeling completely overwhelmed by them. I had a few conversations with friends as well as one with my mentor, but the eureka moment did not come until this morning. I was mulling over some of my misgivings with my only other coworker who was in the office.
“Why do you want to write the book before you turn 25? Just to say you did it?” she asked me.
I hadn’t considered it much before until she asked me. But, the answer to her question was yes. I hadn’t realized that my blind ambition to get this book done didn’t have roots. Suddenly, I felt no different from those people I despise who feel they need to be married or make six figures by a certain age. I felt no different from those people who suddenly wake up at age 25 and decide it’s time to get their lives together. It’s somewhat meaningless to attach accomplishments or milestones to age.
Yes, I have produced more than 200 blog posts this year. But, once you try your hand at a manuscript, you learn it’s much more of a brain drain. In an age where Buzzfeed is considered journalism we’re too quick to believe that, “Oh, you write blog posts, so you can obviously write a book.” But, the two writing experiences are day and night. When you’re conditioned as a blogger to immediately click “publish” within an hour of producing content, it becomes much more difficult to pour out thoughts on a page knowing they will not be published for months or years. There is an immediacy to the blog game. Produce. Produce. Produce. The book game is an entirely different experience. One is a sprint, the other is a marathon.
I want to write a book that I’ll be proud of. Something that I know I took my time with and worked my ass off for. I do not want to rush it or throw something half ass out there just to say I did. And, obviously, I want to write something that people will buy. Duh. I don’t want to just recreate blog posts or write silly lists in order to meet a page count. I want to write the stories that people want to read.
F or now, I will still bang out blog posts the way I’ve always done. There are a few other things on my plate regarding Twenties Unscripted for next year, but I’ve decided to take the book off the menu.That isn’t to say there aren’t many books inside of me. I believe there are. But, I just married my writing this year. My blog just turned one. My brand is an infant and I feel I need to nurture her much more before I divert my attention to a manuscript. And, above all, I think there is more life to live before I memorialize it on pages. There are more stories that I know will happen, more mistakes to be made and more characters to cross my path.